The Mind of an Achiever by Charles Faulkner (as written in the book The New Market Wizards by Jack Schwager)

I was just reading the book The New Market Wizards by Jack Schwager and i got to Charles Faulkner's interview. Charles is an expert in NLP and one part of the interview particularly struck me so much that i just want to write it out and keep it on the record.

During college, Charles was working as an orderly in the elderly patients sections of the hospital ward. Over the course of 3 years, he spoke to hundreds of people who were near the end of their lives. He asked these people how their lives had been, what they liked about their lives and what they regretted, if any.

In Charles' own words:

"I found out that falling in love at nineteen was important. I found out that the willingness to take risks into the unknown, like leaving one's small hometown, was important. On the other hand, just simply retiring because of age was something many of them felt was the biggest mistake of their lives.

One thing that really struck me was that not one of these people said they truly regretted anything they had actually done-what they regretted was what they had not done. They regretted that they had wasted their lives on petty pursuits. They hadn't identified their important values and then done everything they could to fulfill them. The lessons i learned from this experience was the same one emphasized years later in NLP: If we don't live true to our values and fulfill them, we experience disappointment and emptiness."

I totally agree with all the points that he said in the book. When i was lying in the hospital 8 years and 1 month ago and thinking that i might not walk out again, those were the exact thoughts that were going through my mind. I did not regret a single thing that i did, but there were deep regrets for countless things that i had not done. So i made up my mind to fight the supposedly incurable illness and continue living so that i can do those things. It's amazing what we can do when we are really determined.

And i agreed that everyone should take time off to work and live in a foreign country for at least 2 years of your life. Also, if you love what you do, it's foolish to retire. I love what i do so much that i hope i can sleep less so that i can have time to do more.

Lastly i realised that i had fallen in love with the girl who would become my wife when i was at 19. But i only got the courage to ask her out many years later after my brush with death. Btw, asking her out and marrying her was 2 of the things that i had regretted doing.